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What are some funny and smart quotes?

08.06.2025 05:59

What are some funny and smart quotes?

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

Is fellatio addictive?

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

What is the reason for the high rate of unmarried individuals in America, particularly among males?

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

In Italy, how do people greet each other when they meet for the first time (e.g., on the street)? What's a good response to that greeting if you're not from Italy or don't speak Italian fluently yet?

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”